Intuition as Your Guide in Shared Decisions with Your Partner

Jason and I have created a mutually agreed upon process when venturing out to public places. While we were in Italy for our honeymoon, we encountered multiple experiences where one of us had an uncomfortable feeling about a particular place to dine or shopping experience. Instead of thoughtfully considering the other partner’s intuitive feeling, we went ahead with the experience. The experience ended up being fairly undesirable where we either had a bad meal or overpaid for an item. Instead of trusting each other’s intuitive feelings, we succumbed to an unideal experience and dwelled on things we couldn’t change. The partner with the intuitive feeling felt angry because the situation could have been avoided if the other partner listened, while the other partner felt wrongfully blamed for the events that transpired.

After these experiences, Jason and I decided to adhere to a mutually agreed upon process. When we go out to any public place, we agree beforehand that if one of us has an undesirable feeling no matter how subtle or overt- we agree to leave. We acknowledge that the intuitive feeling has to be genuine and honest, not directed in any matter to purposefully cheat the other out of the experience. We agree that in speaking our truth, no partner will hold resentment over the decision to leave or any animosity towards the partner for the change in plans.

We have found that when applied consistently, this process works well for us and saves us from encountering an undesirable experience. It has also strengthened our ability to speak our truth openly and honestly with one another without fear and increased our trust in one another. This simple process can be added in your dynamic as well to enrich your set of desirable experiences, increase effective communication, and improve trust and comfort in your partnership. When considering how to implement this process, reflect on the steps below.

Steps for Intuitive Decision Making

1. Discuss with your partner if using intuition as your guide in mutual decision making is ideal for your partnership

2. Identify what intuition means to you and what it means to your partner

3. Explore the ways in which you and your partner typically experience intuition or an intuitive knowing about a particular experience

4. Decide on a set of criteria or general rule that will be applied consistently in prospective experiences

5. Affirm that both partners will apply the process in shared decision-making for prospective experiences

6. Acknowledge that this process is designed to strength your connection, improve effective communication, and expand the level of desirable experiences

- Jaclyn