Triggered

Jaclyn
Sep 30, 2021
3 min read

What does being “triggered” mean? In my perspective, triggered is when the existence of something or someone in your awareness causes a deep-rooted issue (insecurity, vulnerability) or unresolved trauma not previously in your conscious awareness to manifest internally, externally, or both. The method of the triggering could be a vocalized thought, exhibited behavior, physical action or lack of action, or it could be nothing at all. It can exist from the witnessing of large-scale events to the most seeming insignificant occurrences and everything in-between. The act of being triggered illuminates areas that need healing. It’s a cause-and-effect process that forces inward reflection and self-analysis for deeper insights of your conscious experiences. I had a recent experience of feeling triggered that led me to seriously question my mission, vision, and goals with our passion project.

It’s no secret that being an online content creator is challenging. The ability to create and disseminate current and evolving content of value to our audience is our constant goal. Jason and I put a lot of time and effort into teaching relevant, relatable experiences and knowledge that we feel is of benefit. Although we’ve received some traction, which we are very grateful for, sometimes it feels that we aren’t making a difference and perhaps our content doesn’t have the value we think it does. Normally, I do not entertain this perspective. I pride myself on my consistent positivity and faith in our brand and our work. However, lately I have been feeling triggered with Jason’s personal TikTok page.

Jason created a TikTok page where he posts esoteric information. His page has blown up and received a lot of traction, over two million views on one of his videos. At the time of writing this, his follower count from 11 videos is nearing 18,400. The instant traction and success have been quite triggering. I am not jealous of his influencer status or social media derived attention. I am disappointed that we have crafted real content on self-growth and personal discovery that is not gaining any significant traction. Jason also made a TikTok page for our brand that has 9 videos with 33 followers. In comparing the two pages, it seems very clear which content people prefer.

In analyzing the situation, I have understood more about why I am being triggered. A deep-rooted issue that has manifested for me is feeling undervalued, under-appreciated, and unheard. This isn’t the first time in my life I have felt a lack of validation from my environment, but it has caused me to question whether this is my true path. I have always envisioned myself as a teacher and truly enjoy helping people in areas that I can realistically offer my experience. I often do not get credit for my wisdom and guidance, which doesn’t bother me so much if I truly feel I am adding value. The egoic comparison between the TikTok pages has caused me to question the real value I am adding, since there appears to be limited interest in our content. Through some reflection, I was able to discern my value and disengage from my triggering experience.

Below is the step process I utilized to process the triggering experience.

IDENTIFY

What are the trigger/triggers resulting in the experience?

ANALYZE

What is the triggering experience manifesting internally and externally?